


Left Behind

by lydiamartin (dwinchester)



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-25
Updated: 2017-02-25
Packaged: 2018-09-26 21:47:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9923525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dwinchester/pseuds/lydiamartin





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LauraElizaStilinskiHale](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LauraElizaStilinskiHale/gifts).



Stiles tugged nervously at his tie and turned toward Jackson, his eyes wide. “I might have a panic attack.” 

“You’re not going to have a panic attack, you dork.” Jackson snorted, leaning toward his boyfriend and kissing him. “Okay? We’ll talk to her together and if she says no, we’ll ask someone else. But she’s not going to say no. She was a thorn in my side for years. You know how she is. I know you know how she is. She’ll take two minutes to think about it and weigh all the pros and cons, and she’s going to say yes. She’d be a real bitch to say no.” 

“Jackson, don’t call her a bitch.” Stiles sighed, but he smiled as he leaned against him, wrapping his arms around Jackson’s shoulders. Stiles’ relationship with Lydia hadn’t lasted very long, and they broke up officially on Christmas Eve, a mere six months after they had begun seeing each other - for a given value of seeing, since they were in different parts of the country for most of that time and could only use Skype and Facetime as their methods of being face to face. Stiles had decided to drown his sorrows, by way of a fake ID, at Jungle. Jackson had bought him a beer and they sat at a table and talked for hours, unable to do more than blink in confusion when the bartender pointed out the empty club and told them to get out, the place was closing for the night. Ten years later, he was still in love with Jackson. Life was weird, sometimes. 

Lydia finished her speech at the front of the room and walked down the steps and toward Jackson and Stiles, a confident smile on her face. “Okay, what did you need to talk to me about? As if I don’t already know.” 

“You do?” Stiles blurted. He stood up straight. “How -” 

“Just accept that she knows everything.” Jackson remarked, laughing. “So, is it a yes or a no? Are you going to have kids for us?” 

Lydia beamed. “Yes. I’m assuming you’ve already figured out the logistics of diaper changes and how you’re going to feed the babies, since I won’t be involved in that?” 

Stiles rolled his eyes, feeling much calmer now that Lydia felt the need to insult their intelligence. He wasn’t going to dwell on it. “We’ve been babysitting Liam and Hayden’s kids for the past four years, we’ve got this. We want our own. And Jackson won the coin toss.” 

“Coin toss?” Lydia laughed, turning toward her other ex-boyfriend. “Coin toss?” 

“I’m donating my... DNA.” Jackson began. 

“Sperm.” Lydia and Stiles said together, smiling hesitantly at one another before they looked back at Jackson. 

“Ugh, you two. Shut up.” Jackson smiled, shaking his head. “And Stiles gets his turn, next time. If you don’t want to have kids for us next time, we’ll ask someone else. Malia, probably.” 

“Let’s see how I feel after this time.” Lydia murmured. 

*****

There wasn’t going to be a next time. Stiles rubbed his bleary eyes as he finished changing another diaper. He thought he might throw up again, but he suspected it was because he hadn’t eaten anything in more than twenty-four hours, and not because baby poop was disgusting. He put the drowsy baby back in her crib and walked through the house, absentmindedly rubbing his wedding band with his thumb as he looked for Jackson. 

“Do you blame me?” Jackson asked softly, not looking up at Stiles right away. He lifted his head, staring at his husband. “Because she’s not... because she’s gone? Do you blame me?” 

Stiles shook his head and wrapped his arms around Jackson, rubbing his back and silently adding to his count as he looked at the clock on the microwave. “I don’t blame you. This wasn’t your fault. This just... happens sometimes.” 

Seventy-six hours ago, Lydia had died from complications while delivering the triplets.

Seventy-three hours ago, Stiles had been dosed with something to help him through his anxiety attack. He finished filling out paperwork to make sure he would be a legal guardian for children who were not biologically his, but who he loved more than he had even thought possible.

Seventy hours ago, they carried the carseats into the house. Jackson had retreated to the bedroom, and Stiles had let him go. He wanted to grieve for their lost friend, too. But three wailing newborns took precedence. 

“But now you won’t have...” Jackson sighed softly. 

“Hey.” Stiles knelt down, looking at Jackson. “Lydia’s fate was not relegated to a freaking coin toss. You hear me? I love you and I’m a little pissed, yeah. But not because of anything you did or didn’t do, that resulted in Lydia being gone. We have three kids. I really need your help. I need you to pull yourself together and take care of them with me. They love you, you know? That’s literally all they know how to do. Well, that and pee. And poop. Good god, you haven’t even dealt with that.” 

“I changed them at the hospital.” Jackson protested weakly. “Her funeral...” 

“We can’t go. The babies aren’t going to be quiet through all of that. I mean, if you want to go, I guess. But I can’t go, then.” Stiles rambled. He was exhausted and wanted a chance to sleep, but after the past few days, he wasn’t sure he could trust that Jackson would take care of their children while Stiles slept for a few hours. 

“I’m not going!” Jackson blurted. “I don’t deserve to go. It’s my fault, even if you don’t see that. I just wanted to be a dad. A real dad.” 

“Oh, I’m not a real dad?” Stiles’ eyebrows raised as he stared at Jackson. “Okay, look. You’re hurting right now and you’ve decided that something that happens to women every single day is somehow your fault, just in this instance alone. It was your sperm that killed her, yeah? Except that no, it wasn’t. You’re being a dick, you’re ignoring _our_ kids, and I’m fucking tired. I’ve been taking care of all three of them by myself since we got here. You’re wallowing. I understand what that’s like, I wouldn’t mind doing it myself. But I can’t. You shouldn’t be. Why don’t you get the hell up and come into the nursery with me?” 

Jackson trudged down the hall after Stiles, wiping his eyes on the hem of his shirt. “I’m not ready for this. I’ve ch-” 

“I swear to god, if you say that you’ve changed your mind, I’m going to...” Stiles trailed off, feeling sick to his stomach all over again. “I’m not going to do anything because that’s not the kind of relationship we have and I shouldn’t have even let those words get out of my mouth as an indication that I was considering it.” He licked his lips. “Please just come hold one of them? You haven’t actually changed your mind, you’re going through some shit right now. Guess what? They are, too.” 

“How do you even know which one is which?” Jackson asked softly, turning to look at Stiles. He knew that he hadn’t actually meant that he had changed his mind, he just felt like if he touched any of the babies, they might fall apart in his hands like crumbling sand. He knew it was irrational and he wondered if he had somehow ended up with postpartum depression. Lydia would have been able to tell him, if he had. 

“Allison is the girl, obviously.” Stiles teased gently. “I put James in the blue onesies, and Miles is in the yellow. We’ll keep them color-coded for as long as we can. I’ve been having nightmares about getting them mixed up since we found out we were bringing triplets home.” 

Jackson frowned. “You never told me that. Why didn’t you say anything about it before?” 

Stiles shrugged. “One too many memories of your voice saying ‘shut up, Stilinski’ during high school? I love you and I love our kids, and everything has been great. And I’m hoping it stays that way. But I didn’t see the point in telling you something like that. We’ve had bigger problems to deal with, like putting together the cribs and painting the walls and buying enough clothes and diapers before they got here. My irrational fears aren’t that big of a deal, compared to the rest of it.” 

“I’m sorry I haven’t been doing anything for them.” Jackson picked Miles up and sat down in one of the chairs in the corner of the room. He looked up at Stiles again. “You’re not - you’re not going to leave me, are you? For getting stuck in my own head?” 

“Considering I once was literally stuck in my own head?” Stiles snorted. “Nah, I’m not going anywhere.” He sat down in the chair beside Jackson’s. “I miss her, too. And what happened... it sucks for me. But it’s not their fault.” He looked at the cribs, then back at Jackson. “And it’s not yours. What we need to do now is just be here for all three of them. Our kids.” He repeated, then yawned. 

“Go sleep.” Jackson smiled fondly. “I’ll take care of them for awhile.” He looked back down at the baby in his arms as Stiles got up from his chair and left the room. A thought nagged at Jackson, and he got up hurriedly, following after Stiles as he carried the newborn. “Hey!” He blurted. “Hey, I love you, too. You know that, right?” 

Stiles turned to look at Jackson, tempted to make a sarcastic remark until he saw the actual fear in his husband’s eyes. “Jesus. Yeah, I know.” He nodded, moving toward Jackson to kiss him softly. “Okay? Maybe what we should do is get Scott to come watch the triplets, and we’ll sleep for a few hours? Just sleep. We both need the rest.” 

“Isn’t he going to the funeral?” Jackson shook his head slightly, feeling a little dazed. 

“Well, he probably wants to.” Stiles grimaced. “As much as anyone could ‘want to’ go to a funeral. But Scott understands that we’re not going until later, so maybe he will just skip the official thing and come with us afterward? He can help us carry the babies. They’re too little to really know what’s going on, so... for them, it’s just going out for a walk or whatever.” 

“I know that.” Jackson rolled his eyes. “I’m not stupid.” 

“No?” Stiles smirked. “Are you sure?” 

“If I wasn’t holding one of our sons right now, I’d smack you.” Jackson snorted. “Call the idiot and tell him to get over here. If I tried that, he’d hang up on me. He does whatever you want, though.” He took a deep, shaky breath. 

“So do you.” Stiles held his arms out. “Give me the baby and go lay down. I’ll come to bed in a little while.” 

Jackson complied, then started getting undressed. He laid down on the bed and thought about Lydia and how she would have actually smacked the hell out of him for moping, not just half-threatened to do so, like Stiles had. He had wondered, more than once, if it was strange at all that he actually had children with his high school girlfriend. And after arguments with Stiles, there had been more than a passing thought or two about rekindling what he used to have with the redhead - and not just to spite Stiles. But he did love him, moles and all. Just as he started to drift off to sleep, he felt the bed dip beside him and a hand rubbing his back. 

“You never got over her.” Stiles whispered, eyeing Jackson. “Did you?” 

Jackson stared back at him. “Am I a bad person if I say I didn’t?” 

“Am I?” Stiles was silent for a moment as they stared at one another, and then he scooted closer to Jackson and wrapped an arm around him.


End file.
